It’s often said that people with Aspergers can’t lie. We tend to be rigid thinkers, and rule followers, and the rules tell us that lying is BAD. Also, lack of social awareness can result in difficultly noticing when a nice white lie will smooth along social interactions and avoid hurt feelings. This results in the bluntness and honesty which can be source of both humour and frustration for the family and friends of aspies. You ask an aspie whether they think you look good in your new dress and there is a good chance that you will get a completely honest answer, even if that means telling you that your dress is hideous and you make it look even worse than it did on the hanger.
Of course, this is a stereotype; although honesty is a widely accepted autistic trait, it is not universally true. I am an exception. I can, and have for a long as I can remember, lied easily, fluently, without hesitation or thought. And people believe me. There will be no insults to your clothing choices here! Your vanity is safe.
But it is not just white lies which I am easily capable of. I also lie as a sort of reflexive defence mechanism. If I am caught off guard by a question, I tend to lie in response. Not to the extent of compulsive lying, I quite happily tell the truth most of the time, and will do so in response to even the most awkward questions if I have time to prepare myself, but an awkward question out of nowhere? Time to lie! Topic suddenly turns to something I am uncomfortable talking about? Bring on the lies!
As my anxiety has increased, so has this tendency come into play more frequently. Topics that I would have previously been fine with make me anxious, nervousness makes it more difficult to figure out what to say, and the panic reflex to just lie instead of carefully sorting out my words rears it’s head and takes over.
This is not a personality trait that I am in any way proud of. Quite the opposite. It is embarrassing to think of how many completely pointless lies I have told. While I know that other people most likely promptly forget whatever random thing I have told them, I remember. I replay conversations and obsess over what I should have said. Yet another thing to worry about. Yet another thing to be ashamed of.
Behind the Mask 